Bride expects her BFF and her husband to cancel a prepaid San Diego birthday trip and pay for childcare after rescheduling her 3-day wedding with less than 6 days' notice and uninviting their baby: 'If they were truly friends…'

Author image for Celeste Mello
Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Jul 30, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

It's not the first time a bride believes she is the center of the universe just because she is getting married. Having a wedding doesn't mean your friends will accommodate your wishes no matter the cost, and that doesn't make your friends any less "true friends".

Try to picture yourself: a friend invites you to her 3-day wedding, you RSVP yes, and a few days before the wedding, she changes the dates. You can't make it to the new wedding dates because you already paid for a trip to San Diego for your birthday, your favorite place to visit. And what's more, your friend suddenly uninvites your baby, so you also need to pay for childcare if you were to attend. Cancelling your birthday trip and paying for childcare to accommodate your friend's last-minute change of plans for her wedding is not that easy. No real friend would expect that from you, actually. 

In this story, the bride expected her friends to do such a thing. The bride had sent invitations three months earlier, giving the couple enough time to organize their schedule. The original plan allowed them to bring their baby, and the celebration ended immediately before the wife's birthday. Therefore, the friend's husband booked a four-day San Diego trip afterward to celebrate the friend's birthday. Everything had been arranged around the dates provided by the bride. It's not their fault that she changed the plans with such short notice. Maybe it wasn't the bride's fault either, but she should consider that guests are allowed to say they can't make it to the new dates. 

Naturally, the couple declined the new invitation, but the bride showed anything but understanding or consideration. Instead of acknowledging the impossible position she had created, the bride questioned the friendship. She argued that a genuine best friend should adjust the vacation and personally pay for childcare. Friendship isn't measured by how much money someone is willing to lose or whether your friend is willing to sacrifice her birthday plans and accept that her baby is not invited to your wedding. In fact, it's pretty selfish to expect something like that from a friend. 

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  • Young mother and father holding their newborn baby together inside their family home.
    via Unsplash+ (Ana Crucan)

    Young mother and father holding their newborn baby together inside their family home.

    People shown are actors.

  • AITAH for refusing to attend a good friend’s wedding after they changed the dates less than 6 days out?

    My wife's good friend got engaged about 5 months ago and they sent out wedding invitations 3 months ago. The
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  • original wedding invitations said we could bring our baby as well. The wedding is supposed to last 3 days and
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  • right after the last day is my wife's birthday. I had planned a 4 day trip to San Diego to take my wife to visit a few of her favourite places.
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  • Yesterday, this friend's mother texted my wife advising they suddenly changed the dates by two days forward
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  • and the wedding is now falls during the trip I planned. She also tells my wife we can no longer bring our baby.
    via vladtheimpaler82
  • Wedding invitation card held by wife's and husband's hands, representing a last-minute change of wedding date.
    via Unsplash+ (Lisandro Garcia)

    Wedding invitation card held by wife's and husband's hands, representing a last-minute change of wedding date.

    This image is illustrative.

  • Problem is, I already paid for our San Diego hotel and we don't have childcare because both of our parents
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  • are unavailable. We both told the friend's mother that we can no longer make the wedding.
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  • The friend and the mom are very upset and saying things like they thought my wife was her bff and that if they were
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  • truly friends my wife should adjust our trip and pay for our own childcare.
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  • This friend is horrifically bad at planning. My wife had to plan her bachelorette party and paid for it. I feel
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  • Couple sitting together on a sandy beach at sunset in San Diego, California, illustrating the prepaid birthday trip.
    via Unsplash+ (Max Bender)

    Couple sitting together on a sandy beach at sunset in San Diego, illustrating the prepaid birthday trip. 

    Subjects are models.

  • like I'm in the right to refuse to accommodate her poor planning. My wife feels similar. Who is right?
    via vladtheimpaler82
  • Unique_Ad_3312 NTA. Changing a wedding date last minute is crazy. Expecting everyone to be able to accommodate is even crazier. Enjoy your trip!
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  • wagamama85 Wondering if the invitations had the wrong day and they're just now noticing.
    via wagamama85
  • Designer_Thought2907 NTA, it's a wedding invite not a court summons. Tell her you'll come to the next wedding
    via Designer_Thought2907
  • Wild-Association1680 NTA. You have an obligation to attend the event you RSVPed yes to. This is not that event.
    via Wild-Association1680
  • rabbit-hole-reveal You can reply 'if you're such a good friend why would you forget that is my wifes birthday, that she deserves to celebrate?'
    via rabbit-hole-reveal
  • blackivie NTA. An invitation is not a summons. They changed the date last minute. They should expect that some people may be unable to attend.
    via blackivie

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childcare friendship bride wedding planning best friends wedding drama birthday trip last-minute plans entitled friend family vacation entitled bride san diego
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